Lately, I've been reading a few new blogs and have been excited by the new batch of Distance Dreamers. But, as I've been reading posts, I've noticed a bit of a trend. Then, after yesterday's post, I was noticing the same thing. The great thing about running and what has made me fall in love with it is the competitiveness I have against myself. The ability to continue to push myself to improve and take on new challenges. Overcoming that mental hurdle when things get tough. Always keep that in mind - competitiveness against yourself.
Reading lots of running blogs can be a double-edged sword. On one side, there's nothing better to motivate you. Seeing the accomplishments of others is inspirational. Finding out about new events, watching others ups and downs and seeing how others train is better knowledge than any reading any training book. It is real life. Being able to make real life connections or online only has been great. You find people you connect with, you start to know people through comments/e-mail or in some cases real life. It's a wonderful support system. However, it can be easy to fall into that trap of comparing yourself too much to others. To think you aren't stacking up enough, that your accomplishments are falling short in some way. To be honest, this is partly why I deleted my DailyMile account. I wasn't enjoying keeping track of miles in that way.
I used to be a blog lurker. I read for inspiration and motivation but certainly never thought anyone would want to read about what someone as boring as me was doing on a day to day basis. I felt the blogs I read were truly interesting people with many different things going on in their lives. This blog is for 100% me but having it started to open those doors of making connections with others.
In regards to running, I remember every milestone along the way. I remember the first time running 5 miles, 8 miles, 13.1 miles, 26.2 miles. Every milestone along the way felt huge. Being able to run a 10:00 minute mile used to feel very hard. Today it feels really easy. It just happened along the way. Now, it's miles in the 8:00 minute range that feel like a challenge to me. Yet, at the same time, I can go through the blogs I read and find many who running an 8:00 minute mile would be a snail's pace for them. They would laugh (not literally) at a pace like that being difficult. For others, running that pace is completely unfathomable. It's all relative and constantly changing. The great thing about running is being able to push your own limits, not what limits anyone else tries to set for you. It's a sport in which anyone can participate. Regardless of the event, your best competitor will always be there if you choose to show up.
I certainly used to feel like I didn't belong. It was very hard to go to the first 5k. My stomach has been in knots for every 'first' along the way. I'm sure most people have had those thoughts of, what if I am last? What if I can't complete it? What will others say? What will others think? Well, the more involved one gets, the more you realize none of that matters, others will support you. Maybe there will be some bad apples along the way, but they'll be the minority, and if there are any, it's easy to ignore.
I met with the local running group yesterday for a trail run (Hi Chuck!). I am not a trail runner, but want to start. This was my first time on trails, except for a rail trail/gravel/canal towpath. It was my first time trudging up and down hills on snow covered trails. But, I went out and had a great time. It felt good, but it also felt hard. We were on the last loop I was going to do and I had to push myself. I felt like I was unearthing many unused muscles. I can go out and run 7+ miles on the road, and not be the least bit sore or tired. After yesterday's 7, I felt it that evening. But, I went out, ran what I could and am ready to tackle the next adventure. I'm never going to be the best, I won't be the worst, but I can always work on improving myself.
I started writting a post very similar. will be up later but goes with yours 100% i think..This is in it:
ReplyDeleteyesterday after my long run I posted on my Facebook that I did the 10 miles and a friend of mine wrote this:
"Holy crap! I'll never catch up to you now, Caro!! I am so disappointed . . I might be able to get out tonight and do a whopping 3 miles . . .and barely bounce home . . I'm going to hang my head in defeat now . . . ."
that made me so sad
I responded:
"W: it makes me sad to read your post, do the best that YOU can. Getting off the the couch for one mile or 20 it is all good. I know people who can run a marathon in the time it will take me to do my half and I dont think about that in a negative way. I think there are great but I am pretty sure I will think I am great when I cross the finish line next Sunday! No defeat here! Cheers to you and no more getting down on yourself like this. Listen to me, last year I had a hard time running 2 miles without walking. Baby steps.'
I think someetimes we forget that we are really competing with ourselves. I asked my stepdad if he wanted to run his first race with me. He responded that he can't win the race so no. He doesn't understand that the odds of him winning the 5k is probably not going to happen anytime soon. It is all about running our own best time. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteAbbi--Your progress has been amazing, and you are only scratching the surface still. Think how many people you are inspiring now!
ReplyDeleteWhat I noticed when I start running was the great support of experienced runners. I was training for my first 5k and was too shy to talk about it and thought, that's nothing compared to a half marathon or marathon. But actually all runner's were super nice and soo supportive and helped me with all their advice. That helped me to stop comparing myself and just enjoy my running :)
ReplyDeleteCaroline - You are definitely completely on track with my point to this post. Everyone is different and their capabilities different, it's doing your best and be happy with that!
ReplyDeleteGreat Post, there is a common theme lately! Me & a few teammates just had similar posts as well! Yeah, I don't post numbers on daily mile, as you can only do the best that you can do! Congrats on all of your accomplishments and for inspiring others to follow in your path!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!! I am in awe of a lot of bloggers I read about and sometimes I find myself comparing my times to theirs but mostly I know the compitition is with myself and no one else :) I don't mind Daily Mile only because I have no problem with how slow I run and if someonese else has a problem than that is just silly to me. I mean, who cares? We are all on our own journey so let's just support each other along the way :)
ReplyDeleteso true! Comparison to others is horrible place to dwell or measure success. I need this reminder! My slow my be your fast my fast may be someone else's slow. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI guess one has to have that discipline of not comparing one's own self to others. It's not easy. I know this because I was caught in the same trap during my first year.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy I was a part of the Distance Dreamers, Abbi. Thank you for this. I have connected with you and a lot of other bloggers/runners because of this =)
This is so very true. Reading blogs can be completely inspirational and it can also bring on some unnecessary comparisons. Like you said, the first time I ran 5 miles I felt ecstatic (pre-blog days, obviously). Then the first time I ran 10 I felt like I won the lottery. As my pace began to become comfortably 8:45 on every day runs I felt like a rock star.
ReplyDeleteThen I entered the blog world. I still feel great about my progress but it also seems far more trivial. Running 20 miles 2 years ago would have made me feel on top of the world. Now, I realize there are people that run 20 miles every single weekend. It's easy to think "big deal, I did it twice, ever. It's not that special". But that's not true. It is INCREDIBLY special. I need to remind myself to continue to celebrate my accomplishments even if there are hundreds of other bloggers out there that can blow me out of the water. I am still doing great, for myself.
I could relate to this post so much. Thank you for putting it into words. :)
You, my friend, have come so far! You have so much to be proud of.
I love this post, and really enjoy your blog. I really believe that times are 100% relative, and a personal issue. I won't say they don't matter at all, because they can be great benchmarks for personal accomplishment and success. But unless you're planning on winning Boston Marathon, they are not the most important factor in running.
ReplyDeleteWhether we are slower or faster isn't what binds us as runners. It's the fact that at some point, we all had the courage to take that first step and begin.
Thanks for this reminder Abbi! As a new runner I take a lot of inspiration from reading running blogs, but I can also find myself sometimes feeling intimidated by how much farther or faster others go. You are 100% right - it is about doing the best you can and being proud of that!
ReplyDeleteI want to run faster, but I definitely don't feel upset that I'm still in that category that finds 10 min/miles on the challenging side. We all have different bodies, different schedules, different priorities, different goals, and different ways of reaching our goals. This post was wonderful and really resonated with me. Here's to running and the running community!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you are exploring new horizons in your running! It never gets old - but of course you have to work at it to keep it fresh. A bit like being married!
ReplyDeleteBlogs haven't yet begun to make me feel competitive, but Facebook has. I have been tracking the running progress of a woman I went to college with, and for some reason I really, really want to beat her. It drives me insane--almost to the point that it's a problem. Somehow those feelings overshadow all the accomplishments along the way. I just keep thinking that I have to get faster! It's really sad that I have let that happen. Thanks for this post and a good reminder to appreciate how far we have come! It wasn't long ago that I couldn't run a 5K.
ReplyDeleteI am almost done writting mu post will link yours to it..I am not a fast runner...I am quite slow actually, I started at an older age also and really I dont care, I like reading about fast people, marathoner, triatletes or ultra marathoner, I admire how a human body can achieve so much. Mine gave birth twice that is better then any BQ in my eyes!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG! I just wrote about competing, against yourself/others. I need to focus on competing with myself, because I realize it's taking away from the whole experience.
ReplyDeleteand I read your last post, you're getting speedy Girl!
I really love this post. As a somewhat newbie (outdoor) runner, one of the things I've loved most about running is the fact that I can see improvements in myself in such a short time period - even if it means moving from the 11 minute to 10 minute mile range, or just achieving distances I never thought possible before.
ReplyDeleteI can't say I never compare myself to other bloggers, but for the most part, my satsifaction comes from being competitive with myself and beating myself. I do like reading other running blogs though - I like to think they show me that if I continue to train hard, I could aspire to run faster/farther over time, and I love reading tips from other (more experienced) runners.
Congrats on the trail run. I'm not super competitive on the trail because it is so beautiful. I hope trails are a peaceful yet challenging escape.
ReplyDeleteI love your brutal honesty. ::hugs::
ReplyDeleteGreat post. As someone who has been last in races, who would be thrilled to ever run a 9:00 minute mile, it is this community that keeps me inspired and encouraged.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with trail running - I've done a trail half, and it was great (though I was last). Be careful, though - my rear end got the most sore due to all my falling down!
Sad, but true. Sometimes blogs motivate me and sometimes they make me feel inadequate... I have gotten a LOT better at not comparing myself to otters miles/speed though. The only competition is within yourself!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes!!
ReplyDeleteIt took me a lot of time and heartache to get over the fact that there will ALWAYS be people faster. I enjoy reading other people's blogs of course!
Changing how I think about running/racing has made me enjoy it more, and honestly, has helped me improve.
Trail racing scares me! I'm too clumsy for it! Good luck with it!
Great post! It is amazing to think how far I have come since I started running. i used to barely be able to run a mile when i first started running, now i ran a marathon...
ReplyDeleteThat's great that you tried a trail running group! I really want to find a group to run with... I tried last summer but couldn't find people in my pace group but I should give it another shot!!
abbi - thanks for this reminder and for creating Distance Dreamers... I joined the group and read many running blogs because every day I discover someone who has been triumphant, someone who has tread new ground, someone who has learnt something afresh, or someone who is finding a new way to do old things! This is becoming my virtual
ReplyDelete'Runners High'! :)
This is such a great post. I can totally relate to everything in it, and I'm sure most everyone else out there can to. One of the things I love about running (and racing specifically) is that I can be competitive with myself without being aggresive with other people. No wonder I was never good at "fighting for the ball" and ended up on the cheerleading squad instead...
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful post! Omigawsh, I can totally relate to everything you said. I used to compare myself so much to other runners when I first started because I had no idea where I fell. But now that I am more comfortable with my running style and am pushing myself in different ways I am okay with my speed and distance and don't really see other's as a competition but a way to learn something.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed this too. I notice a lot of comments (sometimes written by me), that are congratulating others by putting the writer down, such as, "I could never be that fast!" Definitely something to watch out for.
ReplyDeleteI love reading reading running blogs, I can learn from them and I'm lucky to have some readers of my own who will give me advice when I ask for it.
ReplyDeleteBut I never compare myself to others, there will always be people that are faster or slower than me. I run for me. If I beat my own time with a minute I'm happy, doesn't really matter what that time is compared to others.
I fall into too much comparing from time to time. I remind myself that my run is just that MY running. I race a clock not other people (they are just decoration for the course).
ReplyDeleteAs for trails, I love them and only want to race on them. I am ruined for the road now.
Wonderful post. I'm new to the running scene and I definitely have a love/hate relationship with everyone's blogs. They give me such inspiration but I do feel inadequate compared to others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post and I just need to always remember that I am doing this for myself not for anyone else.
And PS - I LOVE READING YOUR BLOG!!! You are not boring!
it is very strange to look back on where we used to be and where we want to be. i'm always amazed when i take a moment to step back and appreciate where i've been and how far i've come.
ReplyDeleteand i totally agree. i feel like reading blogs has made me a much much better and more informed runner. more than any running book ever has.
Hi Abbi!
ReplyDeleteI sure can relate to the comparisons trap. Maybe the way to validate our effort is that we enjoy running and the results. I am at the age where the likelihood of getting faster times is probably fading away. For sure the friends / social aspect will keep me showing up for a long time.
It was nice to be on the trails together Sunday. I hope we can connect again soon.
I saw your post a couple of days ago, but only today figured out what I had to do to comment.
Chuck
This is a great post! I can definitely relate. There are a lot of great running bloggers in the Orlando area, but all of them are soo fast. I remember reading this one post about a half marathon I had run. The blogger and I had the same time and she called it her "personal worst" and went on and on about how disappointed she was with her "sucky" time. It was my PR! Oh, well. I was proud of myself! :) In any event, I'm sure she did not mean anything by it.
ReplyDeleteLove you blog! Thank you for stopping by mine!