Freaking and Breaking

It's race week and I'm freaked out.  Luckily, this week is going to be busy with lots of non-running tasks.   Hopefully the busyness will keep my mind off the 50K this weekend.

On Saturday evening, while most normal people were probably partying it up, I was glued to my computer reading old race reports and looking at photos of trails.  At 10 PM, I even found a trail half marathon close to home that I debated about going to on Sunday morning.  Luckily, reality (aka my husband) kicked in and I was brought back down to earth and decided I really wouldn't gain anything this close to the race.

So, I just met up with some friends for 10 miles in the morning.  Before leaving to run Sunday morning, I threw in a load of laundry and the washer made a terrible noise and smell.  I had to leave so I just left it to deal with later.  After I got home, I fiddled with the washer again and concluded that I did indeed break the washer.  My husband agreed this one was beyond his expertise as well.  I went out for 4 more miles with the dog and decided to deal with the broken washer on Monday.

Luckily, I got a repairman to come today.  He agreed I broke the washer (note to others - if you run a 'mini' load make sure you switch it back to 'large' so you don't burn up the gears on the transmission).  Much to my surprise, he asked me to dig out my warranty on the thing even after I said I didn't think any of it was still under warranty (it's seven years old).  I found it (times like these I'm very glad I'm organized) and the washer is being fixed as I type and the parts were in fact still under warranty.

In an attempt to convince myself I'm cut out for long trail races, I tried coming up with a list of reasons why they fit my personality and ability.  Maybe this will help me avoid my freakout and the thoughts that I am in no way cut out for this?

1.  Mountains, trees and rivers are much nicer to look at than bank buildings, crack houses and pavement.

2.  Large groups of people, particularly in a small area like an expo, give me major anxiety.  No need to worry about this at a trail run.

3.  Port-o-Potties are disgusting and there is no need to wait for one when running a trail race.

4.  Gels make me gag and my stomach revolts.  However, mud covered M&Ms and potato chips seem to sit just fine.

5.  I really have no place to hang a medal anyway so leaving with just my race number is enough of a memento for me.

6.  At the end, it's typically a short walk to my car parked in a field somewhere.  This is much better than crossing the finish line in a big city and realizing you have no idea where you are, where your hotel may be, have no phone or money...just a long, painful walk filled with asking every person you pass if you are going in the right direction.

7.  The cost/mile run is typically much better at an ultra.  If I add in any extra miles I may take for getting lost in the woods, it is likely even more cost effective.

8.  Long runs truly are my favorite, anything less than 5 miles and my legs just don't seem to know how to work.  We'll ignore the fact that they don't like anything over 20.

9.  If someone asks you what you did this weekend and you say you ran an ultra, they will have no idea what you are talking about and will change the subject.  If you say you ran a marathon, they may tell you about the marathon they ran that weekend too - a 5K.

10.  I really can only go up from here.  At the last (first) 50K, I was dead last and 12 minutes away from the cutoff.  I am stronger, don't have a bum foot and have been putting in more miles (let's ignore the fact that not enough of them have been on trails).  Hopefully this means I am better prepared to reach my goals:  finish, within the cut-off and don't be last.